the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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