the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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