tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
