OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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