My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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