We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
