Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
