Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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