Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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