i just google imaged poop.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
