Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
