Jerry, you need to find god
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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