He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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