omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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