After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Screwed.edu
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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