all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
