Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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