That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
