i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
