Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize