Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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