Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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