she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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