But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
