Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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