our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
