i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
