Duck Duck Cougar?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
