Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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