SEEEEXXX PLEASE
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
