she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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