Where is the hickey?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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