so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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