I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
