i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
