if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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