so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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