Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Randomize
