I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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