literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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