I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
