I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
