I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
