Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
