Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
