Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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