I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much rum. So many feels.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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