a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
