I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
