And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
