he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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