The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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