my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
