you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
