I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
