I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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