he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
