He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just want to make out with him forever
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
