handjob tips. give me some.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
