Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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