There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
