she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
