Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
