A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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