So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
