It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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