he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
