i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
