Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So vagazzling was a success
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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