And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my being single is dangerous.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
