when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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